30077 posts 19376 followers 3366 followings
From OAK // Thriving in LA
I just shook a dudes hand and accidentally bounced his fist under my boob. We both knew it and we both said nothing. 😬
Absolute living for election season when comedians I know who brag about being rich and tweet jokes shitting on poor people start to retweet Bernie again.
Someone just heckled @nicole byer by yelling “CHICKEN IS REAL.” And when he was escorted out he said “trump 2020!” and it was the MOST insane thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Nicole is a HERO!!!!!!
The thousand island is too orange in New York. Otherwise, I have no notes.
Inner peace can save your life but external fuckin' rage can be an adequate backup.
I say things in real life that I should only say on Twitter and I say things on Twitter that I should only say in real life
I love going up to women who are clearly with their bf/husband in public and asking, "I'm sorry, is this man bothering you?" Because 9 times out of 10 she will say, "You know what, actually yes." And that's a completely legal way to make strangers fight.
Sometimes it seems like men can’t multi-task and then there’s everyone who ever worked at a New York bodega. You know a cashier, bouncer, and world star chef. But with social skills too like damn.
Was attracted to the boys who got detention for being too tired
So nice to visit New York where I’m sexually attractive.
Well if NBC is doing it I'm sure it's gonna go great
NBC says it will open an investigation into “America’s Got Talent” after meeting with axed judge Gabrielle Union https://trib.al/bFWCi8H
Every time George Zimmerman is trending I’m relieved that it’s not because he murdered another person but disappointed that it’s not because he’s dead.
I love you @Josh Gondelman and now your enemies are MY enemies!
This piece by @Josh Gondelman is perfect, and it beautifully sums up part of what I love about my own boyfriend. It’s an act of love to validate your partner’s feelings, even when they detest someone. https://www.thecut.com/2019/12/my-wifes-enemies-are-now-my-enemies-too.html
NEW🎈Izzy G.💥 What’s The Tee w/ @michelle visage @ajandthequeen @mizzizzyg https://soundcloud.com/rupaul/episode-234-izzy-g-aj-and-the-queen