29695 posts 377854 followers 2190 followings
Los Angeles, CA
I’ve already Tweeted a joke about this and I know a bunch more people will but can we all state the plain fact that this man is CLEARLY OUT OF HIS MIND AND SHOULD NOT BE RUNNING A BASKIN ROBBINS LET ALONE A COUNTRY? Or is this the reality we’ve accepted?
If you’re upset about Hillary’s Howard Stern interview you should hear the Trump one where he brags about his daughter’s sexy body.
Unbelievable interview this morning
After hearing President Trump’s inauguration speech, @Hillary Clinton says she began to get nervous. And it sounds like she wasn’t the only one. “George W. Bush says to me, ‘Well that was some weird sh-t.’”
GO ALONE TO COMEDY SHOWS. It’s the coolest thing you can do. You don’t have to worry about the person you’re with laughing or not. Don’t let having friends who are lame or can’t afford tix hold you back! Go alone! #BangItOutTour
Had just enough money to buy one ticket to see @Nikki Glaser in January so it looks like we’re getting over our fears of going to things alone!!!!
Meditation is good for your skin. Now will you do it? https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.glamour.com/story/what-a-month-of-meditation-did-for-my-skin/amp
I was in court today in solidarity with @Lauren Reeves 🏳️🌈 to hear the verdict against Alki David - the same man she fought in her own trial earlier this year. They awarded Lauren's former coworker $58 million. The entire courtroom gasped/cheered/applauded. https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2019-12-02/billionaire-alki-david-pay-50-m...
please read *before* marrying (especially women, super especially women comics. ok thanks) https://hbr.org/2017/10/if-you-cant-find-a-spouse-who-supports-your-career-stay-single
I’m above average.
The average human farts about 14 times a day.
“[P]eople ... are uncomfortable by what they witness. ... [Trump] stumbles, slurs, gets confused, is easily irritated, and has trouble synthesizing information, not occasionally but with regularity [and] also can't remember what he's said or been told.” https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-anonymous-white-house-insider-memory-1472661
If u have satellite radio listen to me tomorrow morning on Nikki’s show! One of my favorite radio shows of all time that is coincidentally hosted by one of the world’s funniest people. 🌎